From Puddle of Tears to Competent Caregiver

By Sun Ting

I was honored to be Fang Xiaohang’s preceptor when she first walked into the wonderful field of ICU nursing in August 2010. I felt so proud of her when she gradually became an excellent nurse in managing critically ill patients. Meanwhile, I was so worried because she was always too involved with patients and was very sentimental. I still vividly remember how the fear and desperation stopped her from working when our patient died after resuscitation.  She only stood there, grieving with tears in her eyes and not even knowing what to do to help the team.

Five years later, on August 17, 2015, she posted on her WeChat (a social media app similar to Skype), “I’ve been in your life, providing care and love as you walk towards the end of it …” All of a sudden, I knew what had been touched her and changed her - it was another death!

As a team leader, I took care of a patient-Wang (pseudonym) together with Xiaohang. I witnessed how she treated Wang with full love as if she were taking care of an infant. She believed that people behave like an infant when they get old and became dependent. She talked to Wang gently each time before any procedure. She would say: “Grandma, we are going to change your position …” before we turned her. Wang was under light sedation at that time, but she nodded her head and we could tell from the expression on her face that she had a slight change in a peaceful and satisfied way. Xiaohang even reminded me by saying, “Can we please be gentle because Grandma had already been in lots of pain?” Another time, I saw her holding Wang’s hand, with her face close to hers and said, “Does it hurt here? I will massage it for you, OK?” She carefully touched Wang’s face, hands and moistened her lips with a swab. Wang lay there with her neck connected to a ventilator and quietly enjoyed what Xiaohang offered, and a contented expression appeared on her face as usual. Xiaohang turned to me as she found I was looking on with delighted and said, “Grandma has rheumatoid arthritis and her joints were deformed, but her hands feels so soft and smooth and her face; look at her cheeks. She is so cute ….”  I knew then how tender and soft Xiaohang was!

The next night, we worked together on another resuscitation. It was like it had been five years ago. The patient being rescued was Xiaohang’s patient - Grandma Wang. Contrary to that previous situation, this time the nurse was so calm yet carried out all her procedures in order, cooperating professionally with physicians and other staff and not hampered by her own emotions at all. After 43 minutes of rescuing attempts, which seemed so long yet so short, the families decided to give up and let her go.

Xiaohang walked to Wang’s side, picked up her hand and gave her a gentle touch just as usual. She washed her face, moistened her lips with a swab and gave the older woman a massage for the last time. This special care and love which happened in the past 12 hours were the things Xiaohang was talking about in her post: “I’ve been into your life, providing care and love as you walk towards the end of it.…”

Wang’s eyes were not entirely closed yet. Probably, at that very last moment of her life, she wanted to remember Xiaohang’s face!

Nominated by: Sun Ting

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